Grieving? I’m right there with you.
If you couldn’t find me at a social event, I was 99% likely to be in the corner consoling someone who had just gone through a breakup or needed some extra TLC. That was always my nature — to comfort and nurture people. So when I faced the two devastating losses of my parents within 23 months, I had to learn how to comfort and console myself through (still going through it) the depths of grief.
I grew up in a loving, welcoming home with my parents and two younger siblings. My family was what one might call “tight knit”. We were very much a unit. Growing up, my parents were vivacious, loving and invested in their family.
November 23, 2015 — our lives were turned upside down and that day is what ultimately led me here.
My dad passed away suddenly.
I distinctly remember looking up at the sky outside of the hospital and seeing a flock of birds flying overhead. To me, this symbolized that while my world was crashing in, the rest of the world was still going about their days.
This was my first of many experiences like this. For months, it felt like time had stood still, and yet, the world carried on.
Fast forward to 2017 — my mom had become ill and passed away on October 12th. I was the one that got the call. The familiar, deep sting of loss penetrated my soul as I held the devastating news to myself for a few moments. I asked, pleaded, and wondered WHY ME!? Why us?!
Being the researcher that I am, I dug into books, articles, talked with therapists, spiritual counselors, mediums...you name it. I blocked out what people told me I should be experiencing at this stage or that stage and trusted that I would be led to the resources that would resonate with me.
After losing my parents, I became hyper aware of loss. Every time I heard about someone losing a loved one, I felt that sting in my heart, knowing what that felt like and wishing I could tell them that there is life after the death of a loved one.
I started posting a few statuses about grief, death and supporting loved ones. I couldn’t believe there wasn’t more of this out there. We all lose loved ones, why is no one talking about how to navigate one of the most common, tender and painful things we go through in this experience?
The more I posted, the more responses I got from people and eventually I was hearing from a friend of a friend about their grief journey and it hit me. Feeling unified in grief is key.
I fought starting this site for a long time. I didn’t want to become a spokesperson for grief. How unglamorous! I would scroll through my news feed seeing peppy and fun posts. I recall thinking to myself, “No one wants to hear from the girl that lost both of her parents!”
I promised myself that if conversations about grief kept coming up naturally, I’d start this site once and for all. Well, within 4 weeks I connected with 6 new people about their grief experiences. That might not sound like a lot, but for someone that wasn’t really advertising my grief journey I knew it was the final push I needed to pursue Grief Troop.
I hope that you feel comfortable here, and most of all, unified by this club that we didn’t sign up for.